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I never know how to start stuff like this, but I think a little background is a good place to begin. I am a thirtyish year old professional who has completed an Associates Degree and graduated at the top of the class. I have been called insightful, intelligent, thoughtful, and logical.  I despise dishonesty which, in some small way, contributes to the reason for my testimony.

Until last weekend I had never used an illegal drug.  I began smoking tobacco cigarettes in high school and stopped after a few months – there didn’t seem to be much of a point.  The first time that I got drunk was after high school at a party, and while I didn’t regret participating in the festivities, I certainly regretted the amount of alcohol that I imbibed.  That did not, however, prevent me from drinking later – it just put me in a better position to judge when I could or couldn’t drink and how much I was going to allow myself.  I rarely get plastered and drink infrequently - perhaps once or twice a month.  I began smoking cigarettes again when I was about 19 years old and have not stopped.  I consider this my only true vice.

I give you all of this background information because I feel it’s relevant.  You see, last weekend I smoked marijuana for the first time.

I was not stupid; I’ve never been called stupid.  I have spent well over a year considering this particular indulgence and have spent an inordinate amount of time researching cause and effect of marijuana use.  I have questioned frequent (and infrequent) users until they’re sick of hearing me talk.  I have learned plenty, including the solid fact that not one person has ever overdosed from this particular drug.  For the purposes of comparison many people die every year from alcohol poisoning and there have been deaths from nicotine poisoning.  So, after plenty of research, ensuring that (to the best of my knowledge) my life was stable and would not change significantly I managed to convince a distant relative to get some pot for me.  Twenty dollars and a few weeks later…

My significant other, who has indulged in the past, wanted to be with me when I smoked.  Having seen people do stupid things in the past and having had very bad reactions both to bad drugs and just bad environments, my SO wanted me to be safe.  I smoked about three-quarters of a bud not knowing how it would affect me, but looking forward to the experience.  I am an analyst. I investigate and pick apart every point of every experience I have.  This would prove to be something that I would have difficulty picking apart.

I will say that for my first time I likely smoked far more than I should.  By the time I was done my vision was already weird.  Not blurry, but…odd.  I’ll get into that in a moment because by this time my biggest concern was my balance.  I had my Love help me back into the house because I was having a very difficult time walking.  It was not “fuzzy” the way that alcohol makes you feel.  I felt as though everything was crystal clear, even though my vision was still funky. When I looked at things they appeared to flash in and out of existence, the way that an old movie looks, but much, much slower.  

We sat down to smoke - there was no way I could continue to stand.  I spent what felt like three hours talking.  I was fearful of lighting a cigarette because I wasn’t sure, to be honest, if I could get it lit. My sense of time was completely thrown off; it turns out that the three hour conversation that we had took the span of about 10 to 15 minutes.  I smoked one cigarette and it seemed to stay lit for hours.  I would look down, certain that I should be putting it out only to find that there was still three-quarters of it left. Throughout this time, my vision continued “flashing”.  It was not unpleasant, I must say. It wasn’t anything really. Just different.  It felt a lot like a roller coaster without the physical discomfort of having your insides move around inside your body.  It was a unique experience that I know I’m not doing justice to.

Basically, all of my senses were reporting different information. My eyesight seemed to be fine except for the flashing. My sense of touch seemed to be working fine (although with the flashing, I do admit to having some difficulties picking things up and setting them down).  An example of the conflicting input was my soda.  I had a bottle of Pepsi sitting in my lap for about the first 15 minutes that we sat.  Eventually I moved it to the table, just within my peripheral vision.  My lap was still telling me that the soda was there, while I could see it on the table.  For the first time in my life I felt uncertain as to how my body and my mind were interpreting information.  When I discovered that the 3 hour conversation (which took 15 minutes) was such a short period of time, I was even more thrown off balance mentally.  I’m very good at gauging time, and to have that internal sense of balance thrown so far off certainly shook me up a bit.

My comrade, so helpful and caring, was still watching me, of course, to see if there was going to be a negative reaction to the pot as well as trying to determine my state of mind in case I freaked out.  Of course, with my analyzing every aspect of the experience I couldn’t help but notice being watched closely.  This, obviously, made me a tad more self-conscious. I was having a hard time enjoying myself because I felt like I was being watched.  I didn’t want to seem like the “typical” pothead and giggle uncontrollably or anything stupid like that.  I wanted to be clear on what I was feeling; I didn’t want to lose my thread.

After about 30 minutes I was ready for it to be over.  Every physical sensation that I experienced was somehow more than it normally would be – this included uncomfortable bodily functions such as a small gas bubble in my stomach feeling as though my guts would burst.  Something significant that I must comment on – and something that I noticed while I was high -  the constant pain that I have in my hands was nonexistent.  I do an awful lot of typing most of the time, so my fingers and thumbs, as well as the palm of my hand are in constant pain.  Not agony, mind you - it’s mild pain - but it’s a pain that I notice frequently.  That pain did not exist while I was stoned.

Regardless, when I decided that it was too much sensory input I mentioned that I was feeling a bit sick.  That wasn’t completely true; I felt the same way that I would feel when I was ready to vomit, knowing full-well that I wouldn’t.  Once again, conflicting information.  The suggestion was made that most people that smoke, smoke it so they can relax.  I should sit and listen to some relaxing music – which I then did…for about 3 hours.  I’m sure I dozed off at least once and to be honest I had analyzed about as much as I could.  I had reached the point where too much was too much so I just…stopped thinking for awhile.  The music was perfectly clear, however, like the cigarette, it seemed like it would never end.  Eventually, mostly “normal”, I went to bed.

Because of the amount that I had smoked, I suspect that the following day I was significantly slower in my thought processes than normal.  I had brief flashes throughout the day that made me question how sober I was, which introduced many interesting questions such as: How do chronic smokers do anything without screwing it up?  I would have been scared to death to drive while stoned much less anything as simple as cooking or sex.  It boggles my mind that a person would attempt to do anything while stoned, although I can definitely see the appeal to smoking pot. I will certainly smoke again, simply because an interesting, safe experience is always worth a bit of mild indulgence.

I am not a drug advocate.  Most of the drugs that people are using are far stronger than are safe, and most people that are active users of illegal drugs do not really think about safety (aside from avoiding getting caught).  I don’t believe, however, that marijuana should be an illegal drug anymore.  I have changed my stance on that.  Not, as you may think, because I have smoked it (although that does factor into my decision), but because the actual information about marijuana is nowhere near what is touted and spouted by the anti-drug propagandists.  A little bit of honesty would go a long way. And this is my little piece of it.